“Beyond Lies The Wub – Redux” – 18 August 2012
Short post this time.
The following is something I came up with after a long, windy (read wine-dee) conversation with a good friend of mine on Facebook yesterday. He asked me for an absurdist story, two paragraphs long, and it ballooned into this, entitled “Beyond Lies The Wub – Redux.” Other than the eponymous wub appearing in this story, it bears no resemblance to the Philip K. Dick short story that inspired its title. I’m thinking of writing more stories like this one, insanely absurdist with a cliffhanger ending. It was a lot of fun to write.
The purple-yellow school bus was launched with all the trays NOT in their post-landing position, and the wub was nowhere to be found. The three schoolchildren and their personal nun were waiting to see its pig-like nose protrude from behind the captain’s blood-red curtain, steam rising from its nostrils –
But no snout appeared.
“This is drisnap,” said the oldest boy. He turned to the nun and made to slap her in the face, but she caught his wrist and held it tightly in her grasp. He wrenched himself free. “You said we would have wub on this trip. You lied. Some nun you are.”
The nun said nothing, simply stared ahead at the curtain.
The girl spoke up next. “Don’t hit her, you olrescid,” she told her brother. “She can’t help if she’s a liar. Besides, the wub might appear any plorncet now.” The boy blew her a raspberry, the girl hit him with a rock she had smuggled onboard under her sundress, and the two immediately commenced rolling in the aisle, locked in mutual sibling combat. The nun said nothing, and neither captain nor wub appeared from behind the curtain.
The youngest boy, as his brother and sister tried their best to commit simultaneous attempted murder in the school bus’s single aisle, slipped out of his seat and made for the curtain, but the nun was quicker on the uptake and grabbed the collar of his shirt.
“Where’re you goin’?” she spat into his wrinkled face. The boy remained tacit, so the nun put him in a half nelson. He didn’t resist.
“Where’re you goin?” she repeated. When the boy didn’t answer she went for the full, but at the last second the boy spoke up.
“Stop fighting,” he said. His stupid brother and sister stopped fighting, stood without a word, and returned to their seats.
“Curtain open,” he said. The captain’s blood-red curtain parted like a curtain that had been parted.
There, inside the small room separated by the curtain, lay a slimy, slightly-piggish creature. Its nostrils steamed. The whole body was neon green. And it emitted no smell indicating that it had been cooked.
“Beyond lies the wub,” the little boy said. A surge of steam then poured forth from the nostrils of the wub, filling the cabin of the purple-yellow school bus.
It’s amazing what can be created when you’re running on fumes after being awake for nearly twenty-four hours.